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Was it because I didn't want to let this moment pass?
Okay. Let's call it 'Caffeine overdose'.
Even with my hands shaking from drinking too much coffee, the stories I wanted to tell late into the night showed no signs of ending.
However, after time passes, it quickly becomes lukewarm, like replaying an old movie whose ending you already know.
In this 'Room Temperature Cinema (常溫映畫館)', I face another lukewarm farewell.
At this point, I don't even know what the problem is anymore.
Is there a prisoner living in my heart who rolls a stone up a hill with all his might, only to drop it off a cliff?
There was no complete satisfaction.
Happiness flashes by for a moment and then quickly evaporates.
Oh. 'My little Sisyphus'. Please.
'And yet it moves'.
Whether I'm sad or not, the world goes on as if nothing happened.
In the end, I lean on the friendship of my friends at the painful end of love and, when I feel a little better, I crave new love again.
Perhaps, life is an endless circle?
As I go around and around in a similar daily life, I suddenly look up at the sky.
Was my father like that too?
Are my friends just putting up with it?
What is clear is that they continued to move forward, and are still moving towards somewhere little by little.
At that moment, I realize that 'life is not actually a circle, but a spiral'.
After that, I return to 'Suwon', which was my starting point, but I feel that I am subtly different from the me at that time.
Looking back, Suwon was a very cold and unfamiliar place to me in my early 20s.
Things I couldn't understand and things I didn't want to know tormented me at the same time.
That's why I was able to cling to what I liked and endure it back then.
However, as I passed my mid-20s, Suwon, which I faced again, was a completely different place.
That time when only what I had to do and what I could do was important.
When I deviated from the pilgrimage of aspiring professional artists and chose the path of 'Dilettante'.
Although I was still in confusion, what gave me a little will was the existence of 'Family Legacies'.
Because I inherited both a cool head and warm palms, there were always good people around me.
Whether I knew it or not.
Thanks to the love that my friends and family, or in short, the 'FPF', constantly supply, my life so far hasn't been too bad.
No, even if I had a miraculous opportunity to go back and live a second life, it would be a good life that couldn't be better than the original.
The excitement and thrill of booking plane tickets with friends and waiting for Friday to 'FRI' end 'ends' is irreplaceable.
Like shopping for 'Vintage Chrome Hearts' at an unknown store in a foreign country, I continue to live with a slightly uneasy but at the same time joyful heart, wondering if it's actually fake.
Even if I have to search for someone to love again, 'Someone to Love!', and sometimes get trapped on a 'traffic island' and spend a long time waiting
Because I know that the moment of 'Caffeine overdose' will come again.
[Credit]
All tracks produced by. Clayheart
All tracks mixed & mastered by. Doubdub
Nylon guitar. ILMO (01, 07)
Guitar. Kim Seon-gyeom (02, 08, 09, 12)
Drum, Bass, Keyboard. Clayheart
Track Featured. MARVIN, MEEK DRIB, SYCHO, Lemma, hvvn, Heo Ji, Gi Hwa, $EUNGHYUN, Chill Como
Special thanks to. BOiTELLO, Veno, KJ, Jae Park, FR:EDEN, SASQTCH, Rakip, Kim Hyuk-gi, Kang Jeong-won, Oh Se-chan, Lim Su-min, Jo Hyeong-jin
